Monday, February 1, 2016

How to improve your relationship with anybody

Friends by Squelle

Relationships form an intricate emotional balance of interpersonal dependence and remain surprisingly stable over time (except for personal shocks, which evolve slowly). As discussed in an earlier blog, relationships have long-term mental and health consequences, making their understanding paramount. The unique chemistry of a relationship is stable over time. We behave differently with different people, and relationships retain their flavor; love (or hate) can remain fresh in mind even after decades of separation. Impeccably tailored to every person, animal, or thing we come across, an inherent, automatic behavioral pattern is unfailingly utilized and updated to the situation. It is almost as if a common, shared 'relationship field' would direct the behavior of both persons. A field is a physical concept that can only be indirectly measured through its effects on behavior. 

Fields have energy, which gives them an influential role in dictating changes. Emotions, which represent the energy/information balance of the brain, are regulated by the temporal field. Thus fields and corresponding emotions govern our actions in the present. However, present activities form emotional gravity, the foundation of future relationships. Like gravity, emotional gravity is a field that determines the strength of emotional connections to things and people over time. So people form their corresponding field, and the field directs participants' behavior. For example, respect generates respect, so you will go a long way if you project genuine openness and kindness wherever you go. 

People with high emotional gravity are insecure and hunger for security. Their lack of trust drives them toward a constant, albeit futile, search for safety. Due to mental rigidity, they resist change. They deflect new ideas, leading to contradiction and criticism. Although criticism feels personal and degrading, it is important to recognize that the complaint, aggravation, or physical violence is not directed personally at you. It is the consequence of insecurity. 

During an encounter, both participants follow a momentum that is difficult to change. Understanding makes it possible to rise above the negative experience retrospectively. It also makes forgiveness possible. On the surface, forgiveness appears non-prudent but serves a dual purpose. First, it liberates your mind from the baggage of hurt of negative emotions and their long-term shadow: chronic enhanced brain frequencies. Forgiveness allows you to maintain your emotional freedom of joy, trust, and love, which spares you from revenge and retaliation, thus keeping the relationship positive. In the broader sense, forgiveness heals the soul and enhances trust, confidence, emotional strength, and resilience. 

Even if the other person dies or moves away, this social acuity will aid your relationship with others. Following this practice regularly, you will learn to react constructively to criticism at the moment of encounter. Then you will find that you are surrounded by love and support. You can successfully navigate society because the goodwill will support and lift you. Your relationship will improve with everybody, guaranteed.

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