Monday, February 1, 2016

How to improve your relationship with anybody

Friends by Squelle

Relationships form an intricate emotional balance of interpersonal dependence and remain surprisingly stable over time (except for personal shocks, they evolve slowly). As discussed in an earlier blog, relationships have long term mental and health consequences, which makes their understanding paramount. The difficulty of relationships lies in their personal chemistry, which is difficult to change. We behave differently with different people and relationships retain their flavor; love (or hate) can remain fresh in the mind even after decades of separation. Impeccably tailored to every person, animal or thing we come across, an inherent, automatic, behavioral pattern is unfailingly utilized and updated to the situation. It is almost as if a common, shared 'relationship field' would direct the behavior of both persons. Field is a physical concept, which can only be indirectly measured, through their effects on behavior. 

Fields have energy, which gives them powerful role dictating emotions. For this reason, emotions govern our actions in the present. However, present actions form a field for the future, the foundation of any relationship. Being truthful yet kind is not always easy, but it is always possible. Respect generates respect, so you will go a long ways if you project a genuine openness, kindness wherever you go. There are problem personalities and problem situations, which centers on a problem called emotional gravity. An analogue to gravity, emotional gravity is a field which, as discussed in earlier posts, determines the strength of emotional connections to things and people over time. So people form their corresponding field, and the field directs the behavior of participants.

People with high emotional gravity are insecure, which is compensated by a greater emotional hold on relationships. Their lack of trust drives them toward a constant, albeit futile search for security. Due to mental rigidity they resist change. They deflect new ideas, leading to contradiction and criticism. Although criticism feels personal and degrading, it is important to recognize that the criticism, aggravation or even physical violence is not directed personally at you. It is the consequence of insecurity. During an encounter both participants follow a momentum governed by physical laws, which is difficult to deviate from. Nevertheless, understanding makes it possible to rise above the negative experience in a retrospective manner. Understanding also makes forgiveness possible. On the surface, forgiveness appears non-prudent, but it serves a dual purpose. First, it liberates your mind from the baggage of hurt of negative emotions and their long-term shadow: chronic enhanced brain frequencies, which are implicated in numerous diseases. Forgiveness allows you to maintain your emotional freedom of joy, trust, and love, which spares you from revenge and retaliation, thus keeping the relationship positive. In a wider sense, forgiveness heals the soul, enhances trust, confidence, emotional strength, and resilience. Even if the other person dies, or moves away, this social acuity will aid your relationship with others. Following this practice regularly, you will learn to react constructively to criticism at the moment of encounter. Then you will find that you are surrounded by love and support wherever you go. You can successfully navigate the temporal gravity landscape of society, because the temporal field you created will support and lift you. Your relationship will improve with everybody, guaranteed.

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