Negative emotions: an opportunity in disguise

      

A large part of human history has been steeped in blood, terror, suffering, and intimidation. Fear is a useful emotion when escaping wild animals or surviving wars, but negative emotions create walls and separation in a peaceful society. Thus some of our behavior can trigger the darkest emotions, aggravation and even hate in the people closest to us. Yet throughout history, people had no time, no knowledge and no opportunity to comprehend, let alone change what they felt. Because people adapt to the mental, emotional patterns of their predecessors, terror had a long shadow. Faulty emotional regulation wreaks havoc on psychological and physical health.


Negative emotions eat away our happiness and poison our relationship with people closest to us. They handicap and enslave the mind. This occurs because negative emotions correspond to chronic high brain frequencies, which produce an overwhelming information flow of distorted, fractured mental pictures; this, in turn, induces a perceived shortage of time (appropriately called stress). Also, the self-centered, insecure view of negative emotions remains part of the mind for an extended amount of time. The resulting mental weakness, insecurity, and fear can either be a trigger for aggression or cause paralyzing anxiety. Research shows that negative emotions predispose lower social status and lead to a perceived difficulty of life, both of which handicaps professional and personal success. Over the long term, the insidious presence of negative emotions can give rise to mental problems and affect the hormonal system and immune function. Chronic inflammation has been associated with a host of health problems and even early death. Some of the diseases implicated are cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer disease, digestive, as well as skin problems, cardiovascular disease, bone loss, and others.

Yet, negative emotions are a natural part of life! They keep us safe by warning us of danger, conflict and help us manage hazardous circumstances. They also have immense the potential to push us toward success as no positive encouragement can! Many high achievers come from difficult situations or overcome serious handicaps. An adverse reaction to the negative experience is automatic and innate. When we are pushed, we push back, we inherently fight challenges, but when we are pushed hard when faced with overwhelming difficulties, we surrender. This is the reason, we get bogged down by small problems, but overwhelming challenges can propel us toward wisdom. The power of acceptance transforms the energy of negative emotions, difficulties into inspiration, a force toward success! You can use prayer, mantra, exercise, memorization and even memorization of meaningful information. You have to go through a mental curve, which is confusing and chaotic, but if you are persistent, it will lead to liberation, the feeling of expansion, and joy. (Negative emotions form temporal or emotional gravity that inhibits, and slow progress.)

Our emotions determine our thoughts and behavior. Inversely, changing our actions gradually reprograms our emotional life as well. Genuine and systematic life changes can rejuvenate our mental world. But even small positive steps can have a profound influence on how we feel. Work on improving your acceptance quotient by regular spiritual housecleaning. Physical activity, mindfulness-based therapy, and emotion-focused therapy have been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Exercise releases feel-good hormones, and improves mental and physical performance, being the only proven fountain of youth to date. Having meaningful goals reduces the importance of negative experiences. Historically some people considered geniuses today, often had to overcome difficult circumstances in their lives. For example, Schrodinger calculated the hard mathematics of Einstein's field equations when fighting in the front lines of the First World War. Beethoven went deaf. Mozart had money and health trouble while writing his most beautiful pieces of music and Einstein had marital problems while working on his theory. Their practice of art, music or science might have been an escape of peaceful oasis, where they felt happy and emotionally balanced. But the mental state of geniuses is not reserved for Einstein and Mozart. It only requires humble work, with full attention toward a big goal.

Picture credit: Anxiety by Maxwell GS

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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

Survival and dignity in an abusive relationship

Amborella trichopoda by Scott Zona

Abuse is an emotional roller-coaster, which completely rules the life of both the abuser and the abused. It betrays trust by inflicting pain at a time of emotional closeness, creating a strange mixture of belief and pain. Abuse twists and disfigures the emotional bond between people and creates an intertwined mutual emotional dependence, which can remain part of the mental make-up over the long-term, possibly for a lifetime. Physical abuse, such as rape or physical violence, requires immediate action. Organizations can be found on the internet and in most countries that provide emotional support, organizational and financial assistance. This blog deals with emotional abuse, which can be more sinister because it is more difficult to pinpoint, but just as dangerous for mental, emotional health.

Emotion is the energy imbalance of the brain. Energy (temporal) excess manifests as positive emotions, confidence, trust, whereas energy (temporal) shortness corresponds to negative emotions. Emotions are responses to environmental stimuli, so they are intimately regulated and intertwined with our personal core environment. Supportive, loving environments generate trust, which allows us to feel safe and relaxed. Positive emotions involve the wealth of time, whereas negative emotions correspond to the perception of a shortage of time. 

People who have a low tolerance for environmental changes get stressed easily, which can trigger abusive behavior. Stress corresponds to a temporal contraction, which generates a feeling of pressure. The inherent need to push back the boundaries creates confrontation with the closest people or things. Abusers know the best ways to hurt others (pain, disgust, and even despise). Later, abusers often attempt to repair the relationship. This way, abuse forms a cycle of exploitation and reconciliation, which is mentally, emotionally exhausting. The painful betrayal of emotional closeness by abuse leads to insecurity and low self-esteem, which gradually weakens the victim.

Later stages of abuse may look benign from the outside because the abuser does not have to apply full threat; just a word or hint achieves full compliance. Abuse leads to insecurity and weakness or causes a trigger ready and defensive state of constant alert. These can be viewed as two sides of the same coin, as they can turn into each other in a situation-dependent manner. However, both cases lead to emotional instability and isolation.

Abuse extracts such a high emotional toll that even ending the abusive relationship leaves the victim dependent and psychologically unstable. This is because the turmoil of each emotional conflict increases the interdependence of the abuser and the abused. Pulling out of an abuse cycle is psychologically difficult. Retaliation only fuels confrontation and rarely ends the abuse. However, following appropriate steps can empower you and prepare you for independence after the abuse. By experimentation, you must find a mentally relaxing practice that can help you enhance your emotional strength. You must recognize that abusive behavior occurs due to weakness. Abuse destroys trust, which must be restored. Forming an emotional closeness creates a higher perspective. Formulating patience, love, mental and emotional strength will build your belief and confidence for life beyond abuse.

Working through abuse is an emotionally difficult process that gradually will increase your confidence. The emotional load will be arduous, therefore reaching out to a higher power or outside support might be crucial. Keep your focus on your goal of independence as you gradually increase your inner strength. Setting a date, a deadline for yourself is wise. This gives a realistic target date for saving up money, finding support, housing, and means of living. This way, you will be well organized and mentally prepared for independence.

Abuse victims often suffer from insecurity and emotional problems long after the abuse itself has ended. This is especially prominent in early childhood abuse victims. Medical findings often support the susceptibility of abuse victims to certain diseases and even premature death. But there is hope to eliminate the mental, emotional, and health consequences. Following the above practice, even in retrospect, can help form love or understanding toward the abuser. This systematic mental cleansing gradually erases emotional dependence. The process provides confidence and dignity. Abuse is a curse that arches through generations and cultures. The liberation of an individual from exploitation ends the cycle for subsequent generations as well. Thus eliminating harassment of any kind should be an international priority. Please share this blog with others who might need it.

Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

How to improve your relationship with anybody

Friends by Squelle

Relationships form an intricate emotional balance of interpersonal dependence and remain surprisingly stable over time (except for personal shocks, which evolve slowly). As discussed in an earlier blog, relationships have long-term mental and health consequences, making their understanding paramount. The unique chemistry of a relationship is stable over time. We behave differently with different people, and relationships retain their flavor; love (or hate) can remain fresh in our minds even after decades of separation. Impeccably tailored to every person, animal, or thing we come across, an inherent, automatic behavioral pattern is unfailingly utilized and updated to the situation. A shared relationship field' would direct the behavior of both persons. A field is a physical concept that can only be indirectly measured through its effects on behavior. 

Fields have energy, which gives them an influential role in dictating changes. Emotions, which represent the energy/information balance of the brain, are regulated by the temporal field. Thus, fields and corresponding emotions govern our actions in the present. However, present activities form emotional gravity, the foundation of future relationships. Like gravity, emotional gravity is a field that determines the strength of emotional connections to things and people over time. So, people form their corresponding field, and the field directs participants' behavior. For example, respect generates respect, so you will go a long way if you project genuine openness and kindness wherever you go. 

People with high emotional gravity are insecure. Their lack of trust drives them toward a constant, albeit futile, search for safety. Due to mental rigidity, they resist change. They deflect new ideas, leading to contradiction and criticism. Although criticism feels personal and degrading, it is essential to recognize that the complaint, aggravation, or physical violence is not directed personally at you. It is the consequence of insecurity. 

During an encounter, both participants follow a momentum that is difficult to change. Understanding makes it possible to rise above the negative experience retrospectively. It also makes forgiveness possible. On the surface, forgiveness appears non-prudent but serves a dual purpose. First, it liberates your mind from the baggage of hurt of negative emotions and their long-term shadow: chronic enhanced brain frequencies. Forgiveness allows you to maintain your emotional freedom of joy, trust, and love, which spares you from revenge and retaliation, thus keeping the relationship positive. In the broader sense, forgiveness heals the soul and enhances trust, confidence, emotional strength, and resilience. 

Even if the other person dies or moves away, this social acuity will aid your relationship with others. Following this practice regularly, you will learn to react constructively to criticism at the moment of encounter. Then, you will find that you are surrounded by love and support. You can successfully navigate society because the goodwill will support and lift you. Your relationship with everybody will improve, guaranteed.

My upcoming book, "Emotional Reasoning: Insight into the Conscious Experience," will be published by CRC publisher on August 30, 2024. 

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Copyright © 2016 by Eva Deli