Survival and dignity in an abusive relationship

Amborella trichopoda by Scott Zona

Abuse is an emotional roller-coaster, which completely rules the life of both the abuser and the abused. It betrays trust by inflicting pain at a time of emotional closeness, creating a strange mixture of belief and pain. Abuse twists and disfigures the emotional bond between people and creates an intertwined mutual emotional dependence, which can remain part of the mental make-up over the long-term, possibly for a lifetime. Physical abuse, such as rape or physical violence, requires immediate action. Organizations can be found on the internet and in most countries that provide emotional support, organizational and financial assistance. This blog deals with emotional abuse, which can be more sinister because it is more difficult to pinpoint, but just as dangerous for mental, emotional health.

Emotion is the energy imbalance of the brain. Energy (temporal) excess manifests as positive emotions, confidence, trust, whereas energy (temporal) shortness corresponds to negative emotions. Emotions are responses to environmental stimuli, so they are intimately regulated and intertwined with our personal core environment. Supportive, loving environments generate trust, which allows us to feel safe and relaxed. Positive emotions involve the wealth of time, whereas negative emotions correspond to the perception of a shortage of time. 

People who have a low tolerance for environmental changes get stressed easily, which can trigger abusive behavior. Stress corresponds to a temporal contraction, which generates a feeling of pressure. The inherent need to push back the boundaries creates confrontation with the closest people or things. Abusers know the best ways to hurt others (pain, disgust, and even despise). Later, abusers often attempt to repair the relationship. This way, abuse forms a cycle of exploitation and reconciliation, which is mentally, emotionally exhausting. The painful betrayal of emotional closeness by abuse leads to insecurity and low self-esteem, which gradually weakens the victim.

Later stages of abuse may look benign from the outside because the abuser does not have to apply full threat; just a word or hint achieves full compliance. Abuse leads to insecurity and weakness or causes a trigger ready and defensive state of constant alert. These can be viewed as two sides of the same coin, as they can turn into each other in a situation-dependent manner. However, both cases lead to emotional instability and isolation.

Abuse extracts such a high emotional toll that even ending the abusive relationship leaves the victim dependent and psychologically unstable. This is because the turmoil of each emotional conflict increases the interdependence of the abuser and the abused. Pulling out of an abuse cycle is psychologically difficult. Retaliation only fuels confrontation and rarely ends the abuse. However, following appropriate steps can empower you and prepare you for independence after the abuse. By experimentation, you must find a mentally relaxing practice that can help you enhance your emotional strength. You must recognize that abusive behavior occurs due to weakness. Abuse destroys trust, which must be restored. Forming an emotional closeness creates a higher perspective. Formulating patience, love, mental and emotional strength will build your belief and confidence for life beyond abuse.

Working through abuse is an emotionally difficult process that gradually will increase your confidence. The emotional load will be arduous, therefore reaching out to a higher power or outside support might be crucial. Keep your focus on your goal of independence as you gradually increase your inner strength. Setting a date, a deadline for yourself is wise. This gives a realistic target date for saving up money, finding support, housing, and means of living. This way, you will be well organized and mentally prepared for independence.

Abuse victims often suffer from insecurity and emotional problems long after the abuse itself has ended. This is especially prominent in early childhood abuse victims. Medical findings often support the susceptibility of abuse victims to certain diseases and even premature death. But there is hope to eliminate the mental, emotional, and health consequences. Following the above practice, even in retrospect, can help form love or understanding toward the abuser. This systematic mental cleansing gradually erases emotional dependence. The process provides confidence and dignity. Abuse is a curse that arches through generations and cultures. The liberation of an individual from exploitation ends the cycle for subsequent generations as well. Thus eliminating harassment of any kind should be an international priority. Please share this blog with others who might need it.

Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

How to improve your relationship with anybody

Friends by Squelle

Relationships form an intricate emotional balance of interpersonal dependence and remain surprisingly stable over time (except for personal shocks, which evolve slowly). As discussed in an earlier blog, relationships have long-term mental and health consequences, making their understanding paramount. The unique chemistry of a relationship is stable over time. We behave differently with different people, and relationships retain their flavor; love (or hate) can remain fresh in our minds even after decades of separation. Impeccably tailored to every person, animal, or thing we come across, an inherent, automatic behavioral pattern is unfailingly utilized and updated to the situation. A shared relationship field' would direct the behavior of both persons. A field is a physical concept that can only be indirectly measured through its effects on behavior. 

Fields have energy, which gives them an influential role in dictating changes. Emotions, which represent the energy/information balance of the brain, are regulated by the temporal field. Thus, fields and corresponding emotions govern our actions in the present. However, present activities form emotional gravity, the foundation of future relationships. Like gravity, emotional gravity is a field that determines the strength of emotional connections to things and people over time. So, people form their corresponding field, and the field directs participants' behavior. For example, respect generates respect, so you will go a long way if you project genuine openness and kindness wherever you go. 

People with high emotional gravity are insecure. Their lack of trust drives them toward a constant, albeit futile, search for safety. Due to mental rigidity, they resist change. They deflect new ideas, leading to contradiction and criticism. Although criticism feels personal and degrading, it is essential to recognize that the complaint, aggravation, or physical violence is not directed personally at you. It is the consequence of insecurity. 

During an encounter, both participants follow a momentum that is difficult to change. Understanding makes it possible to rise above the negative experience retrospectively. It also makes forgiveness possible. On the surface, forgiveness appears non-prudent but serves a dual purpose. First, it liberates your mind from the baggage of hurt of negative emotions and their long-term shadow: chronic enhanced brain frequencies. Forgiveness allows you to maintain your emotional freedom of joy, trust, and love, which spares you from revenge and retaliation, thus keeping the relationship positive. In the broader sense, forgiveness heals the soul and enhances trust, confidence, emotional strength, and resilience. 

Even if the other person dies or moves away, this social acuity will aid your relationship with others. Following this practice regularly, you will learn to react constructively to criticism at the moment of encounter. Then, you will find that you are surrounded by love and support. You can successfully navigate society because the goodwill will support and lift you. Your relationship with everybody will improve, guaranteed.

My upcoming book, "Emotional Reasoning: Insight into the Conscious Experience," will be published by CRC publisher on August 30, 2024. 

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Copyright © 2016 by Eva Deli

Emotional stability: a requirement for mental progress

Endless Knot

Emotional stability gives rise to healthy relationships and overall well-being and brings about long-term personal, professional advancement. In an earlier post, I detailed the important role of mental stability in long-term health. Negative emotional states correspond to detail-oriented processing that fractures perception. Behind negative emotional states is an energetic imbalance of chronic enhanced brain frequencies, leading to mental control grabbing, in an analog process to gravity. A type of mental contraction, a negative emotional state is conserved over time, so can be called temporal (or emotional) gravity. Just like gravity is necessary for material existence, temporal gravity is essential for healthy social life. However, as excessive gravity impedes movement, excessive temporal gravity slows progress. As a boat, which is rocking side-to-side cannot travel with fast speed, a wavering, negative mind is incapable of mental progress. A turbulent mind is plagued by its undigested, non-distilled negative past experiences, which cause back and forth emotional swings, canceling progress. Fortunately, there are two trusted, although diametrically opposing ways toward mental stability. The first, meditation was discovered and perfected by Eastern religious practitioners and sages, the second is a practical goal oriented stance, which is although common to all cultures, it has gained special emphasis in the monotheistic traditions of the Middle East. Whereas meditation starts out from a change in thinking, goal getting changes behavior first. Let's look at them in turn.

Meditation trains the mind for concentration, compassion, correct understanding, patience, humility, and perseverance. Meditation requires an inner state that is still and one-pointed so that the mind becomes silent and turns inward to achieve peace and tranquility. The regular practice of meditation stabilizes the mind to increase self-satisfaction, happiness, and joy. Meditation guides attention toward the experience of the present moment. Focusing on past problems is discouraged, so is the future goals and dreams of the personal universe. Denying the past and the future squeezes the mind into the bliss of the moment, from which the future can naturally unfold. By emphasizing independence from the world it creates emotional neutrality, equanimity. Going back to the boat example, meditation stops the boat from rocking, allowing it to gracefully move on.

The great monotheist religions of the world (Jewish, Islam, and Christianity) emphasize morality and produce an engaging, practical worldview by permitting and even encouraging an active stance to life, a participation in worldly affairs. They also acknowledge a connection to others and even to things by a selfless, altruistic love. For example, humbleness, which is a central theme of Christianity, is the accepting, open mind. But humbleness is not weakness, but an active, albeit a non-aggressive approach to life. Indeed, in western culture, the greatest scientific, artistic and religious achievements are manifestations of love, inner confidence, and intellectual fluidity. Importantly, like meditation, goal orientation also results in happiness and joy. Einstein was famous for his humbleness, and childish curiosity. His writings unequivocally demonstrate his enormous love for all things and people. Orienting toward a goal means living slightly ahead of the present, an inherent ignorance of present problems. The size of goals is an automatic perspective; the bigger goals, the smaller momentary problem appear. Looking at our boat example, a goal-oriented mind's focus on the future leaves little energy for rocking side-to-side by negative emotions.

Fortunately, we do not have to choose between the above forms of mental transformation, for long-term success we should practice both. Although meditation is a natural generator of mental stability, it does not naturally lend itself for an inner drive toward earthly goals, which is the essential ingredient of productive social life, a contribution toward the betterment of the larger community. On the other hand, a goal-oriented path, which is effective for professional and personal success, can lead to an egoistic drive that involves cheating and other dishonest means toward success. However, the twenty-first century changes our way of life dramatically and at a fast pace. The democratization of access to information will transform the way we shop, work and think. Cheating will be short-circuited. Success by dishonest means will be the thing of the past. Do you have a personal experience, insight? Please share your feedback, or comment below.

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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

Structural unity in the cosmos

A massive stellar system, Eta Carinae

Ancient intuition assumed an inherent and organic unity to the cosmos and existence. However, scientific studies show our world as mechanical and profoundly disconnected. Eva Deli’s book, The Science of Consciousness, details a hypothesis that connects all parts of existence into a coherent, fractal universe: particles of matter, the mind, and the whole cosmos fit together like Russian dolls. Supporting ancient religions and ancient traditions, the psyche evolves and operates as a symmetric system to the physical world, with qualities of both. For example, the mind is governed by physical laws. 

Although the mind occupies a place halfway between matter particles and the universe based on size, the degrees of freedom increase from deterministic matter to the mind and the universe. The universe is gentle, pervasive, infinite, and eternal. For this reason, in many ancient traditions, the cosmos is called God. To understand particles is to understand the mind, and it is to understand the cosmos.

Emotions are finite (have an expiration) and trigger actions. A cynic and a negative person are controlled by the environment through emotions. Only the positive attitude mind has free will. However, a person with a positive attitude has no incentive or motivation to change. The hypothesis verifies the self-defeating consequences of negative emotions. Read the details of the hypothesis. You can find my scientific summary on Academia: "Consciousness, a Cosmic Phenomenon."

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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

                                         

Is empirical testing of string theory possible?

Conference at Ludwig Maximilian University in Munich

String theory considers particles as energy vibrations, occurring within compact-dimensions, so small that empirical testing is a technical impossibility. Since the experimental testing of ideas is regarded as an essential requirement in science, string theory, the elegant and promising concept in theoretical physics, remains highly philosophical. Its wildly speculative nature is reminiscent of pseudoscience. Nevertheless, string theory's proponents are entirely convinced by its beauty or logically compelling quality. Einstein probably would approve of such a mathematically elegant approach. As he said in 1933, “I hold it true that pure thought can grasp reality, as the ancients dreamed.” However, such speculative ideas can quickly spiral out of control into truly bizarre notions, such as the possibility of multiverses, or wormhole travel.

A hypothesis detailed the book, The Science of Consciousness, considers the mind similar to material fermions. All aspects of elementary particles thus play out in the mental complexity formed by the neuronal connections of a biological system. Some of these phenomena include the Pauli exclusion principle, Heisenberg uncertainty principle, emotional fluorescence, emotional hysteresis, and emotional fever. 

Several aspects of our physiology, such as semantics, obeys the laws of quantum mechanics. For example, in quantum entanglement, observation on one part of the system instantaneously affects the state in another section, even if they are separated by space-like distances. In emotional fermions, the same phenomenon transpires over time. Entanglement means a shared wave function, which cannot be decomposed as separate subsystems. For example, in word association experiments, entanglement activates associative target words simultaneously, and the semantics of concept combinations can be modeled by quantum theory. The contextual nature of cognition leads to unintuitive word associations (analog to ‘spooky action at a distance’) or resistance to ambiguous situations (such as the Necker cube). If the string theory characteristics were correct for the mind, then string theory could be easily tested.

The new physical worldview, based on physics principles, is detailed in the book 'The Science of Consciousness.' Find your copy on  Amazon.

The above hypothesis is supported by the 2017 article, Origin of Neural Firing and Synthesis in Making Comparisons.

  
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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

Karma, the long term consequences of behavior

The brain evolves in interaction with the physical world. In its operation, the mind becomes similar to material systems. This symmetry leads to an intuition, which allows us to move without falling over or to catch a falling ball. In a previous post, I argued that the mind forms relationships analogous to gravity. 

According to Einstein, gravity is positive spatial curvature. The material world cannot be insulated from gravity, and gravity (as well as field curvature) increases toward the center of large objects. The social world is symmetric to the physical world, but its functions and relationships depend on time and temporal curvature. For example, the social (temporal) curvature layers represent access to time. Because the most significant pressure on a planet or star is in its center, stress represents the lack of time. A lack of time corresponds to a constant search for survival, which affects the dispossessed the most (Figure 1). Only the outer layers provide a wealth of time. In other words, the time pressure comes from a time transfer from the poor to the rich. In practice, access to time manifests as money. 

Because emotional gravity is a positive curvature temporal field, social existence requires a selfish mind to protect our interests against others and advertisement pressures. The temporal field curvature differences lead to social hierarchy. In hierarchic societies, rigid and impassable class differences largely spare the rich from the consequences of unwise actions. It also makes advancement nearly impossible for those belonging to the lower classes. However, modern democratic societies are highly dynamic, allowing and even facilitating social mobility: the movement between field curvature layers. 

Figure 1. The temporal curvature layers of society

As matter cannot be insulated from gravity, the mind cannot be insulated from the effects of stress (i.e., temporal gravity). The conservation of the temporal field leads to field effects, called karma, which accumulate over time. Cheating and corruption form distrust and anxiety in the mind and initiate specific actions, which lead to adverse consequences over the long term. Moving to another city cannot erase the consequences of cheating or selfish actions, which enclose the mind by limiting possibilities and making life more difficult. Therefore, emotional gravity causes insecurity. Anxiety and guilt lead to distrust and enhanced dependence on things and people. Ultimately, they inhibit social mobility and predispose people to lower social status. 

How can you create a successful and happy life? The first step is to strive toward emotional stability because only a calm mind can make decisions based on a non-partial view. Positive emotional states are the success generators of the mental universe. Success feeds on trust, which is decency exhibited even when no one is looking. People who work toward the betterment of others and themselves maintain a youthful, active, and dynamic life into old age. Want to know more? Read my post, 'The science of karma, a case study.'

Related post: The Science of Karma, a case study

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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli

The physical and mental phenomena is unified in a coherent world view

Space and time are two of dynamic systems' most important physical quantities. In the early twentieth century, Einstein's General relativity combined these quantities into spacetime, represented by second-degree differential equations. Although spacetime became a fixture of physics, the idea remains problematic. Space shortens only along one coordinate, but time slows evenly within affected regions. Navigation is possible in any direction in space, but time only moves forward. 

We need to consider a cosmic evolution in our acceleratingly expanding universe. In string theory, elementary matter particles are energy vibrations occurring within a compact dimension, representing time. Therefore, space and time form the universe's two orthogonally conjoined energy fields, where space happens to be three-dimensional, whereas the compact dimensions are multi-dimensional.

Interaction with space changes the spatial curvature. Increasing field curvature imposes information content on the horizon, registered as the age of physical systems. The information content of our galactic neighborhood is shown as being over ten billion years old. Due to the complexity evolution requires, only matter with such enhanced age can produce life.

According to string theory, energy vibrations become visible matter, and the biological brain gives rise to the highly autonomous, self-regulating mind. Highly structured mental frequencies betray the nonlinear complexity of the mind. This is why research that examines automatic psychological operation, independent from conscious awareness, has exploded in recent years. Free will has been called into question. The traditional idea of intellect must be revised to explain personal, professional, and economic success. Social and emotional intelligence is an increasingly recognized factor in achievement. The relationship between emotion and cognition is considered new in scientific literature, from psychology to neurology.

Over millennia, philosophers and sages pointed out the unintuitive and multifarious nature of the mind. The laws of quantum mechanics can describe the mental world. String theory might explain the coherence of the material and mental realms. Like elementary particles, where the energy distribution is hidden until interaction, the vast majority of mental operation is hidden, not only from others but even from self-awareness. Is the mind analogous to material matter particles? Analogies to elementary particles can explain various, specific mental phenomena; see my article on the Physics of Selfhood.

A deeper understanding of consciousness allows us to map a congruent life; goals and inspirations can be efficiently reached. It explains why negativity constricts time (appropriately called stress), slowing mental progress. Emotional stability and optimism are indispensable qualities of intellectual excellence. 

Watch my video, Can quantum mechanics explain consciousness? Exploring the particle mind

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Copyright © 2017 by Eva Deli